The Five Horsemen of Goal Prevention
The Five Horsemen of Goal Prevention
There are lots of obstacles in our creative journeys. What do we do when we become one of our own hurdles?
“Stop stopping me!”
I say that to the mirror sometimes.
What’s getting in my way? Yup, it’s me. It’s my lifestyle choices and behaviors blended with dreams of what I can accomplish. While working on a comic project called, Annex:Anima, I’ve found it difficult to have a productive mindset when half of yourself thinks “this will be amazing,” while the other half equally thinks “this will be impossible.”
I’ve spent a lot of time the past few months trying to figure out what makes me put down my pencil. I’ve really tried to look at my unproductivity from different angles. I’ve asked myself some tough questions. I’ve visited some old haunts. I’ve spent more time taking care of myself.
Yet, these questions still arise. Who am I as a creative? How can I even claim to be one if I fail to create?
Progress has been made, I think. I’ve begun to unmask the big barriers and I’m treating this like a science project; there’s something here worth studying. I’m now testing what I believe to be my five horsemen of goal prevention: distraction, energy, apprehension, time, and heart. My current hypothesis subjects even make a cute acronym: D.E.A.T.H.
Fun, right!?
Anyway, here’s where I’m at in my own self discovery:
D.E.A.T.H.
The Five Horsemen of Goal Prevention
D — Distraction
Distractions are productivity killers. They’re everywhere and can be incredibly insidious. Distractions get in the way of what we want to do, or they become what we want to do instead of what we need to do. A distraction can be anything from a pile of unwashed dishes, to a 15-minute YouTube video which consumes your attention for the wrong reasons. (Usually, a 15-minute YouTube video leads to an unsuspectingly exhausting string of videos.)
Here’s a few examples of what I’ve found to be “distractions”:
1. A neglected chore
2. A video game or television show
3. A request from a friend or relative (urgent or non-urgent)
4. Noise that steals attention
5. A situation that triggers FOMO (fear of missing out)
6. My phone
I know my work habits fairly well, and I know that I love to be in flow state. Distractions take me out of “flow,” and it becomes increasingly difficult to get back. In most cases, distractions will knock first. Most of the time we can choose to let the distraction take us away from our work. Know this; there is vampirism at play: the distraction will drain energy if let in. Allowing ourselves to be susceptible to distraction means that more distractions will come for us.
Proposed Remedy:
Depending on the kind of distraction, there are remedies. If entertainment is the problem, responsibly carve out some time to get that dopamine fill. If a relationship is the problem, set healthy boundaries and make that person aware of “off-limit” times. I’ve found, through my studies so far, that it takes some creativity to find a remedy, but identifying distractions is the vital first step.
I’m working on this, too.
E — Energy
I’m not sure what you call it, but I call it “Energy”. It’s the finite resource of “go power” that you expend throughout the day. The book “Willpower” by social psychologist, Dr. Roy F. Baumeister, describes the human phenomena of a limited supply of “will” (hence “willpower”). Baumeister explains that we do tasks throughout the day that consume “willpower” (e.g.., chores, errands, required social interactions, etc.), which is eclipsed by doing other things that can restore “willpower” (e.g.., sleep, exercise, laughter, etc.). In short; if we’re out of “willpower”, we either cannot complete tasks or we risk over-exerting ourselves.
Through my observations of peers and myself, I often see patterns in our creative output. This is obviously skewed by a few factors: I don’t see my peers every waking moment, I don’t know how much work they show vs. create, things of that ilk. What I do hear from many is dialogue relating to extreme burnout. This is usually a result of an accomplishment. Once they create something they are proud of, they tend to go a long time before starting something new. I observe this in myself, as well. Once I exert a large amount of energy towards something, I need to rest for a short while. I need to meditate on what I did. I need to allow the mind and body to recover. If I have little or no energy left, I know I can’t offer my full potential.
But, I feel like I used to have a lot more “willpower” than I do these days. I used to be able to sit down and create art without resulting in exhaustion. I want that energy back!
Proposed Remedy:
I’m starting to treat my “energy” as a muscle: something that can be strengthened when targeted. I believe in “willpower,” though I still prefer to call it “energy.” It just suits my way of thinking better. I know there is an ebb-and-flow of my ability to jump on a task and get it done. As I’ve become more aware of my limitations, I’ve found myself becoming less consumed by the fear of not doing enough. I can only do so much in a day. I have found that I can strengthen my energy by getting close to my limitations and pushing through just a little longer. I don’t want to over-exert, but I want to push the limits.
Diet and exercise can also contribute to “willpower”. A strong and healthy body can nourish a quick and potent mind. It’s important that we treat our bodies right.
A — Apprehension
This is my whale, for sure. I sometimes find myself petrified to pick up my pencil and start a new drawing. So what do I do?
I hesitate.
I keep hesitating.
And hesitating…
Ultimately, I’ll stare at a blank sheet for 45 minutes and then give up. (YUCK! I hate it when I do that!) I feel like such a weak, frail little coward when I just throw in the towel. But what can I do? All that hesitation is exhausting.
I have a couple hypotheses, but I find it difficult to identify the direct source of my apprehension. It is a vast array of small problems orbiting gigantic red flags. It’s a mix of every topic in this list with variations and nuances. What is it which makes me hesitate? It’s my negative self-talk. It’s my toxic over-thinking. It’s comparing myself with my “peers”. It's an observation of my patterns. It’s my battle with perfectionism. It’s my delusions of reality. Apprehension is my defense mechanism.
Apprehension is easily one of the worst things a creative person can struggle with. It demoralizes us while stopping us from doing the thing which will actually boost morale. If we DO the “THING”, the “THING” will probably be GOOD, but we HAVE TO DO THE “THING”. Easier said than done!
A kind reader once commented on one of my “creative struggles” articles when I used to write for Medium.com. They told me that I suffer from imposter syndrome. This is something that I’m aware of I’m too foolishly humble to admit to myself that I may actually be talented(?). They told me a couple inspiring stories, and there was one quote in particular that I think about from time to time:
“You have two choices to make. You can continue to wait for the creativity to flow from your page, to wait for the exact right time, or you can just start. Just do something.”
Apprehension makes us wait until we feel strong enough to move forward. I’ve become impatient with myself.
Proposed Remedy:
Embrace what holds you back.
Here’s an example: in my life, I have often found myself misunderstood. Not because I’m some fucking genius with lofty concepts that mere mortals cannot fathom, but because my thoughts and ideas are not the easiest things for my mouth to clearly express. Since I’m working on something that I know I’ve instilled a lot of my ways-of-thinking (esoteric topics/philosophies/insanities), my general expectation is that what I create will be misunderstood by many. My remedy: embrace that idea. What if being misunderstood is another awesome aspect of your creation? What if we playfully lean into that?
I am trying to let go of the ghosts of people’s judgment and instead empower myself with the idea that I can create something complex and open to interpretation. Whatever sticks with the viewer will be what matters to them, not to me. What matters to me is creating something I can feel personally proud of and responsible for.
Perhaps you’re a perfectionist like me? Embrace that mistakes will be made. Mistakes are a good thing. Mistakes show growth. If we’re not making mistakes then we’re not challenging ourselves.
Are you constantly comparing yourself to your peers and feeling like an imposter? Embrace the idea that we’re unique and we don’t do what they do. Our unique voice is what makes creativity our brand.
Are you concerned with what people will say about what you do? Here’s a hard-to-swallow pill: most of the time, people don’t think about what we are creating. And, if your creativity yields unpleasant remarks from people (and it probably will), thank them for their time forming an opinion of your work. In fact, their opinion now made your work more valuable, it elicited a reaction!
You don’t need buy-in to keep going.
T — Time
I can feel myself getting older. I don’t want to be an old guy trying to make comics. I will eventually be that, but I want to establish myself while I still have some black hairs on my head. I know that this project will consume a large amount of “time”, and right now “time” is so important.
I went back home to Maine for a little while, and I was previously unsure as to why I decided to do so. I think it was because of “time”. So much time had passed. Where did all of the things and people I remember go? Once you really witness the speed that time moves, you begin to wonder if you’re matching pace.
I’ve found that our relationship with time is something that we need to grasp. Is there such a thing as “too late”?
Proposed Remedy:
I think that time is somewhat of an illusion. The way it manifests in our lives is as capricious and whimsical as it is measurably consistent. I can see that the sun is moving across the sky. I can hear the tick tick tick of the clock. I know that those are present to justify the reality of time, but I’m not sure if it is a good idea to worry about it. Time just happens.
It speeds up when we’re distracted from it. It slows down when we’re aware of it. We know we don’t want to waste it. Yet, we can’t help but go with the flow of it. I feel like “time” is something we must relinquish power to, but if we spend too much “time” worrying about “time”, we’ll entrap ourselves in a trivial paradox and fall short of our expectations.
We don’t have a choice but to take things day by day, hour by hour. Time isn’t waiting for us.
H — Heart
You gotta love it.
I listen to comedians often. I love comedians who have a good sense of awareness, especially self-awareness, that instill grounded truths into the humor of their jokes. But, even a comedian who doesn’t have material I particularly enjoy can still be fun to listen to if there’s one aspect present: they love doing what they’re doing. The best comedians love comedy. They treat it as an art form (which it certainly is). They love it so much, they (ironically) tend to take it very seriously. Comedians that love their art hone their talent with the necessary scrutiny.
If you love what you’re making, you’ll put your soul into it. Your love of the craft will come through. Love what it means to create. Love the potential your work possesses.
I have a fault in my creative drive. I tend to fall in love with potential. It’s more exciting than working on something with a sense of establishment. I’ve established (to myself) a lot of the primary parameters of this comic, thus the sense of “newness” and “potential” have since lost their lust. I’ve been trying to re-think the aspect of “potential” to motivate myself. The “potential” is no longer about what this “could be,” it is now about what it “will be.” It is exciting. It is a bit frightening.
Proposed Remedy:
It’s simple, but it’s not so simple. Do I love this?
I’ve had to ask myself that a lot lately, because this project has been weighing heavily on me for quite some time now. It’s important to ask the tough questions.
Do I love this?
Yes.
I love stories.
I love my story.
I love my characters.
I’m learning to love my art.
I love the potential that this has.
These are things that are important to me and me alone right now. It won’t get done if I don’t love it.
If it’s something you love: you’ll do it. If you don’t love it: maybe you can learn to. If you can’t love it: pick up the pieces and admire the mess you made. I’m serious!
Take care of yourself. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t let D.E.A.T.H. scare you.
Casey Bridgham is a comic creator and game designer from Maine, living in the Midwest. He’s studied at SCAD and ISU. When he’s not studying his thesis on D.E.A.T.H. he can be found doing things that give him back his energy, such as martial arts and sharing a drink with friends.
View Casey’s work: neverlostdesign.com
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