The 3/4 Full Glass
Are you a hopeful optimist or a bitter pessimist? What if you reject both of them?
Recently, I was confronted with my disposition. It feels like I think about it more than others. Because of that, it can be particularly difficult when someone volleys the word, “pessimist,” my way.
“Optimism, optimism perished from the face of my Earth…” - Public Affection (Now Live)
I don’t have anything against functional hope. If you read last week’s entry, you know that I think hope is a great tool for building toward something. It just needs to be used carefully. If I’m not opposed to hope, I must not be a pessimist, right?
I’ve done a lot of big things. Many weeks of residencies, driving coast to coast, and drawing every single day. Hell, I’ve even pulled off three successful Kickstarters! That’s got to count for something. But, was I optimistic the whole time? I’m… well… I’m not sure. Things don’t always go according to plan. I can’t count the times it feels like something absolutely huge is about to happen, and then it doesn’t. I don’t stop, though. No, I keep trucking. I push through, even when things are hard as hell. On my worst days, I still get something done. But, maybe I’m not an optimist.
Let’s take a look at my last Kickstarter, for example. I raised over $10,000 to publish my comic series, Champions, as a trade paperback. The minute I set that goal, I caught myself saying, “Well, that’s a lot of money.” I had no idea how the fundraiser would go. My first Kickstarter was $3,000, my second Kickstarter moved up to $5,000. Doubling the second Kickstarter goal felt absolutely massive, and — in some respect — unrealistic.
I held events, I messaged people, I had phone calls, and I pushed as hard as I could. I wanted to reach my goal. If you asked me if I thought I was going to succeed, I’d tell you, “I don’t know.” I never said that I believed I would. I’d tell people I hoped it worked out. I told people my plans for getting to $10,000, and that reaching this goal was important. But, I never let on that I had some rooted belief I would hit that goal no matter what.
I love this picture. It was taken at the launch of my third Kickstarter. I was surrounded by people who pushed with me, helped me craft the project, and ultimately helped me reach my goal. Even with these folks, I tried to focus on the reality. Yes, I had a good time, and I shared my hope for the book. And I still wonder, is that guy in the middle a pessimist, or an optimist?
Look closer.
I don’t have an answer for you on that. When I see this picture, I see me so desperately tired. I see me having put everything on the line again. I wish that that Dylan could go lay down. So, what the hell am I?
“Everyone’s always arguing about the glass being half-full, or half-empty, like they’ve never seen a glass three-quarters-full before,” Cathryn mentioned the other night as I wrestled with the ideas of pessimism versus optimism. With a twist on a tired adage, Cathryn perfectly detailed that pessimism and optimism live on a spectrum. I am inclined to call this the Realism Spectrum. Dead in the center, there’s what’s actually happening and possible: reality. At either end of this spectrum are hard pessimism and hard optimism, both toxic in nature and both entirely divorced from reality. To me, both in their purest forms should never be taken as a virtue. I think what pushes our thoughts from the center toward either pole is hope or lack thereof. With a little hope, we lean toward optimism. With a little doubt, we lean more pessimistic. However, no matter which way we lean, if we add some action, we find people striving to change things. I’m convinced that pure optimism and pessimism are impossible, but can be inched toward with magical thinking.
Navigating the world often finds us bumping up against mindset warriors. The likes of whom will mutter drivel about, “manifesting.” The kinds of folks with a copy of The Secret on their bookshelves. Like, The Secret, they tout that everything in your life is about positive thinking and making your dreams come true by dreaming hard enough. That, if you really want something to happen, it will if you’re optimistic enough. The dangers in this type of thinking is that it often discounts someone else’s situation. “Manifestation” through positive thinking is easier for the able-bodied and solidly privileged (they have resources). But, in fact, this type of thinking creates a superpower for folks who might not be able to accept the paths ability and privilege laid out for them, creating an “us and them” mentality.
Realism is often conflated with pessimism. Anticipating the status quo is not the same as expecting the worst. “If I don’t land this client, nothing changes,” is not the same as, “If I don’t land this client, I’m doomed.” Yes, sometimes I fall victim to feeling doomed in situations as simple as this. I find it healthy, then, to take a step back and reassess what my condition is, and who’s with me on my journey. Rarely am I gushing with positivity, but I am usually striving for something less expectant, something more realistic.
I’m not here to argue in favor of abject negativity. As someone persistently struggling with esteem and depression, I would never want you to live in a sour situation. But, I think there’s power in acknowledging the Realism Spectrum, and considering how close to the center you find yourself. A dash of hope is never a bad thing. And, if you find yourself lingering pessimistically too long, it’s good to recalibrate. It’s okay to find yourself leaning neither direction and hugging the center. Even a realist can enact change. I think we ought to reject mindset warriors, if only to protect us from relying on wizards and magic powers to get us to our goals. Just like the picture of me, I only got to my goals because I kept at them and had community around me to make them real. My community isn’t magical, but it’s real, and it’s strong.
What am I? A pessimist or an optimist? If you find yourself labeling someone based on an old adage, try seeing a glass three-quarters-full.
Thanks, this really got me going this morning. I often careen about the spectrum (or radio dial) of optimism and pessimism. This has been a remind I need to tune in and change the station sometimes.