Exhaustion & the Planet Comicon Fairytale
Is there something in your life that makes you reflect on who you are? How do we face existential adversity?
Champions at 41%
I am excited to announce that we are at 41% funded for Champions! Our event in Ames was a cold, snowy affair, but we still had folks pop in and support the comic. Thank you so much!
This week, March 17-19th, I will be in Kansas City at Planet Comicon! If you’re coming out, come find me in Artist Alley. Every pledge made in person gets a free issue 1!
The Planet Comicon Fairytale
Let’s be real. It’s exhausting running a Kickstarter. It’s even more exhausting preparing for week after week of events and running a Kickstarter. But, here I am, just a few days away from my biggest convention of the year.
I started attending conventions and other art events around 2014. Most of the early shows were small, often in bars and colleges. Back then, I had five original black and white prints. But shows were rad and I was stoked to get around.
By spring 2018, I had a Champions well under way, several prints, and a load of illustrations. It didn’t take much encouragement to convince me to sign up for one of the most expensive, large-scale shows I’d ever experience, Planet Comicon.
Planet takes place in the heart of Kansas City and is one of the largest conventions in the Midwest. Dozens of artists, of a variety of calibers, dot the convention center every year, and that spring, I was one of them.
Life’s not easy. I’m never afraid to be the first to admit it. Our journey’s can be a rocky pain in the ass. I try to take a Mark Mulcahy approach of admitting my struggles and carrying on with my chin up, but sometimes I do feel beaten. That year, at Planet Comicon, I felt beaten in a big, bad way.
“Perhaps it is Mulcahy’s “beat but not beaten” attitude that exudes from his witty and insightful lyrics..” - Relix 2013
Like I said, Planet is an expensive show, so I tabled with my pal, Travis, the first time. It’s a three day gig and I made nothing in sales that Friday night. It sent me in a spiral. I was over-prepared for the show. I printed 40 of each of my prints, and I had hundreds of comic with me. I expected movement and I saw nothing.
To make matters more challenging, I tried to keep face in front of Travis. I can handle the hard things. But I wasn’t handling this. By the time we went to celebrate with friends in the area, I was twisting down the drain of despair. I was failing and flailing, and I’d never felt it in that way before.
We went to karaoke, I drank a bit much and belted out “Beer” by Reel Big Fish. Eventually, I found myself curled up behind the vending machines in the hotel sobbing on the phone to my girlfriend, now wife. It was miserable, and the weekend didn’t get better. I lost money and I lost faith in myself.
That was 2018, and I have been to Planet Comicon every year (save for pandemic cancelations) since then. I’ve had knock out years, so-so years, and one absolutely awful year. It’s something I reflect on as the convention comes back around. Who am I going to be when I’m there? How will it affect me when I am back? Who will I be this time next year?
It’s hard to say if I ever found that same faith again. I don’t want to be jaded. But I have a skepticism that I’ve honed in those five years. I grapple with confidence, boldness, and skepticism frequently. But one of the things I think is powerful is shedding some of the worry about others. It can be healthy to take a step back and ask if a gig is for you. Maybe I won’t go to Planet every year, even if I’m going this year. The thing that matters isn’t that overwhelming crowd, it’s the gems in the crowd that see what I am doing and love it. Fans are a powerful voice and they deserve to defeat everything else.
Oh! Also, I have a pretty rad set up these days, take a look!
